Silly Cynical Sarah

While at my parent's house (yeah they still live in the village) recently my family was gathered in the living room and kitchen. We are trying to decide where to put the Christmas tree this year because we have 2 new kittens that are still really rambunctious. My 18 year old little big brother thinks that if we put it in the living room just like usual it will be fine, my Mom and I think differently. My Dad agrees with us too, but doesn't put much of an opinion in. There is really not a "good" place to put it, so we basically sort of decide for now on the dining room. 

Now if you knew us you would know that no matter where we put up the damn tree we will have to clean out a place for it, because we have entirely too much stuff for a family of four. My Mom goes into the dining room and starts to take the light-bulbs out of our ceiling light fixture and also taking down the glass shades that encompass them. 

"So you are starting from the top and working your way down?" I say.

"Well it looks that way." My Mom replies with a laugh and a smile.

A little while later I am sitting on the couch playing spider solitaire, which I am great at, and Mom asked me how many light-bulbs the fan in my room has. 

I say "3, no 4. Yeah the fan that You guys made me buy with my Christmas money one year has 4 bulbs." 

She said she didn't remember, but I do. I got an abnormally large amount of money for Christmas one year while we were remodeling and then I asked when was I going to get a light fixture for my newly redone jungle themed room. My parents, bless them, told me that I got to buy my own. I don't think my Dad remembered it either but it sounded like something he would say. He added that I was lucky that he didn't charge me extra to install it.

(They never remember stuff like that. My Mom probably doesn't even remember the time I left my wallet in the hospital waiting room and when we went back for it the wallet had been turned in, but the money in it had been stolen! The wallet wasn't even worth anything, it was leopard print with a pink lining just like everything else I owned at that stage in my life. Inside that fuzzy little wallet was at least 40 dollars AND an Old Navy gift card. Mom told me she would give me some more money but when I asked her for it she told me that the money she spent on me while we were shopping counted. I was pissed.) 

"Usually that would have cost an extra $50." He chuckles.

"Well I guess I should be glad that you cut me a deal." I sarcastically reply.

"How do you remember stuff like that? Why not good stuff?" Mom asks like she actually thinks I think that I didn't have a super awesome childhood with really great parents! I know I had a super great childhood with really fantastic parents! I turned out wonderfully!-No sarcasm in those last 2 sentences. 

This girl replies that she does remember the good stuff but that nobody wants to hear that. They want to hear funny stuff or really weird stuff. 

Lots of good stuff happened in my childhood and some of it is really funny too.

I have just always been really selfish when it comes to my money and I felt that I shouldn't have to use my Christmas money to buy a ceiling fan!!!! I wanted to use it to buy, well I don't even remember now, but I am sure it was awesome and I would be using it right now instead of writing this blog.-Heavy sarcasm in that last sentence. 

Here is a good sweet story that still involves my money:

The summer before forth grade my family went to Disney World! The first day we went to Animal Kingdom and spent a lot of money. One of the days we went to see the A Bug's Life 3D show and Neil and Mom had to leave because it was making  Neil sick. Ha ha. Dad and I stayed, but I got scared and ended up spending some of the show in the floor holding onto my Dad's leg. While we were leaving the show I remember one of the Disney workers telling my parents to watch out because someday I would be chasing off guys with a baseball bat (boy was that asshole wrong). I am almost certain I questioned my parents what that meant, and I do not recall their answer. They probably just said that it was because I was so cute, which was true. Anyways we had a great time and Cinderella was defiantly the nicest female character. Chip and Dale were totally hitting on my Mom while we ate at this sort of scary spinning restaurant. I could not for the life of me understand why I could not go into the castle, my name does mean princess after all. 


Oh and I spent lots of money on ridiculous things. Neil and I both went on vacation with a certain amount of money that my Mom kept for us. When we got back she said we both had 20 bucks left. I told her I thought I spent all of my money on vacation. She told me that Neil and I both did, but that she didn't want us to not have any. :) 


My mom is still super sweet.


Neil still gets motion sickness.

Dad is still teaching me the value of cash and I am sure he would still let me hold onto his leg if I was scared.

I don't know what I would do without any of them and I still really like cash (Old Navy gift cards, not so much)

Epic Out!

So in class we were talking about colonialism and about how people wanted to go to the new world to start a new life. People get sick of where they are and who they are around and they want to leave and start somewhere new. All of this is basic human emotion and feeling.

While pondering this I was also thinking about zombies, because I am always thinking about zombies. Last night I thought I heard a moan outside my window, a zombie moan. So I started playing a game of what would I do if zombies attacked  right now and I decided I would probably be screwed because I was not up for a zombie fight and I didn't have either of my other zombie expert friends around. Also I decided I needed to get my foid card and a gun and/or an axe, preferably a lightweight axe.

Robert S. Zombie Expert

Phillip G Zombie Expert

On my way to school I realized because of the traffic it had taken me 5 minutes to get less than a mile from my apartment. This would be acceptable if I lived in a real city and not a college town. I thought this would be a time when it would be nice if there were not so many people on this planet, I wasn't thinking about zombies in particular but that is where this is going.

So back to colonialism and breaking away from an establishment. I realized that there was really no where left on  this earth that has not been claimed or if it has not been officially claimed then 2 or more countries are arguing over it. Also here in this great/messed up country we live in we can own land but we can't create our own laws, we still have to answer to the Man. Yeah it is the same Man our parents answered to, he just got a face-lift and a new suit and he sometimes wears drag, but he looks good. Oh yeah and the Man never dies, not even zombies...

Sure we can create rules and apply them as we like, but some major stuff is up to the Man.

Flashback to Zombies

My shirt says I won't back down and it is true.

Okay we fear zombies because they are living things that come back to life and want to eat us and then we die and turn into zombies. So I just named 4 things that we fear in that sentence.

People like being scared, go to the movies, a bookstore or hey if you really want to get scared watch the news!

Zombies scare us and people are cashing in on that.

So do you think it would be cool if a zombie apocalypse happened but you survived?

Let me clarify, I don't want this to happen, because I would inevitably be in the worst place possible when it did, but in theory I think it would be cool...if it happened like it does in the movies and I get to be the lead girl with some super hot but still sensitive straight guy as my partner in zombie killing badassedness.

Why do I think this would be cool? No rules!  Whoever survives the zombie apocalypse is essentially the MAN!

You get to start the whole world over and better, you don't have to answer to anyone.

I am on Wikipedia (alot) and once I was on the zombie apocalypse page and I saw this quote from a 2006 interview with Max Brooks Author of The Zombie Survival Guide (Which yeah I do own and it has real zombie blood on the inside) and also son of the great Mel Brooks.

Full interview here!
http://www.aintitcool.com/node/30038

When asked do you think it is possible zombies could take over he responded:

"I don't know what's scarier, the fact that zombies could rise or the fact there are actually people out there that can't wait for it to happen. So they can just start loading up with guns and get on their motorcycles..."

I get this! It makes sense to me, we all want to see what we could do to fix things. We want to star in our own action film and save the day! What if we were in charge? People love this story. The "Oh no! We are stranded somewhere/everyone else in the world is dead! Who will be in charge and how will it turn out?" story.

Just think about it. It doesn't have to make complete sense, but to me it does.

The notion of a zombie apocalypse or any apocalypse is romantic if you, yourself get to survive.  That is my thesis...

Btw I don't think it will be zombies, I think it will be some type of ridiculous animal flu or maybe alien flu?

Creeeek Technology

When I was in 3rd or 4th grade my family got our first computer, it was a Gateway and it came in a big cow print box. I loved the box and wanted to play in it, more than the computer...at first. My best friend already had a computer as did most of my other friends. I can honestly say that we were probably the last to jump on that bandwagon.

Fun!!!!!!!

My parents own rental properties and my Dad used the Gateway to balance bills and stuff. I used the computer to make my 10th birthday party invitations and they were pretty ballin'. Yeah I mean ballin'. It was a luau theme at my Grandpa's pool. I always felt really lucky that my birthday was in the summer so I could have a pool party, but making the guest list always stressed me out. Guest lists still stress me out, because I want all of my friends there but not all of my friends get along and I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings and I have a fear of people not talking to me once the party gets started. So note I don't throw a lot of parties, because something stupid always happens. Yet when I was young(er) I had a birthday party every year until I was at least 12, and then I decided they were uncool.

Gateway back to the Gateway
Other things I used the Gateway for: Oregon Trail: Big fun! Once at school I won a prize for getting most of my family there alive. I got fifty cents to get a soda and I felt really cool. Cards: As I stated above and then tangented off, I made really awesome greeting cards on that computer. Encarta: So we all know Encarta was an encyclopedia of sorts, but did you know that it also featured A GAME! Yes Encarta included a game and I was really great at that too.  There was also a jewel thief game that my family still talks about how awesome it was, but we can't seem to find anything else like it, a pirate game that our cousins from up north really enjoyed and a bunch of other really educational games that I don't remember much about.

One last note about the Gateway, I mentioned that my Dad used it for banking stuff but I forgot to say that we did not have the internet until I was in High School. So even though I was kick ass at Oregon Trail I couldn't talk to my friends on MSN. Major loss of cool points.

Whenever I was in 8th grade my Mom got a job at the school, which was awesome. She did a lot of really cool things. One thing she did that was sort of cool but not as cool as I wanted it to be was she bought me a computer for my eighth grade graduation. She got a discount on Apple products and I was super excited because I thought I was about to get a super cool pick computer like Lizzie MacGuire had.

Except I didn't.

I got a boring white laptop that has major issues, but still sort of works now.

Boring.

The only thing I remember about this computer was it's super awesome encyclopedia. I had a fascination with them when I was younger I guess.

I got a computer that I was not grateful for when I was in eighth grade and so did my little brother.

When he graduated eighth grade he got a desktop computer and that was when Myspace started.

My mom had a Myspace before me, she is that awesome. My Mom, brother and I all argued over computer time, it was horrible. So finally during my senior year of High School I got my first laptop that I loved.

It was a Sony Viao, no frills, except for the diamonds that I put on it and then peeled off after my gay community college friends made fun of them. It was so perfect, I could do whatever I wanted with it, because it was mine and finally after having 3 different computers in my life I had one that was mine and I understood it .



It was love and then as with most relationships things start to go downhill. A cat popped the k key off, the left click stopped working, I am pretty sure if the Viao was a whore it would have every std known to mankind, and I thought I was stuck with it until I could afford a new one on my own.

My parents saved me like they always do.

On my 21st birthday they bring over a bottle of my Dad's homemade wine and a curiously heavy box wrapped in wrapping paper that I am pretty sure I bought. Yes, I had been complaining to my Mom about how the mouse jumped around on my Viao, but I never expected A NEW BLUE GATEWAY.

"You probably won't like the color."  My Mom says to me as I unwrap my new BLUE Gateway.

"Well I'll take it if she doesn't." My Dad says.

"You're right, I don't like the color, but I love it!" I say about my new blue Gateway.

I still have my Viao and I still use it because it has all of my music and pictures on it when I opened it up earlier this evening I could have sworn I heard it go creeek.

I am now typing on my slightly less new blue Gateway and I love it, everything works as of right now and I am doing my best to keep it that way. I still wish it was a pink Gateway though, I guess one day if I ever buy my own computer, it will be pink.

Did I mention this computer has a webcam? No...Well it does!