Dear Ceiling Fan

A blog inspired by random ridiculousness with Kayla K.

Dear Ceiling Fan/Feminism

Please send me a heterosexual man, not bi, just plain old straight.
Please make sure all his parts are in working order and can get the job done.
Please let him love musicals too, but remember still straight.
Make him a lot like the people who I already hang out with, but you know.
Oh and my mom would like for him to be tall, so when I have kids they will be of average height, instead of being short, like myself.
It would be nice if he had an accent, like British or Australian, yes that would be lovely.
I think that's all I really need, I mean I could ask for more, but I won't.

Amen and like whatever and shit.

Almost Optimistic

I just took a sleeping pill, and I am about to curls up on my best friend's boyfriend's tiny couch.

Life has gotten the better of me recently in some very interesting ways, some really shitty things have happened, could happen and are currently happening.

But right now, I am really content. I am at peace and looking forward to the future, hopefully these feelings last a while.

I get the feeling they might.

My Silly Little Bitch Cat

I think my cat is gay, but I still love him. 

Why do I think he is gay? 

Well one of his favorite places to sleep is in closets, amid my many scarves and tights. I know gays love scarves and tights. We are moving soon so I packed up them all up and now Gunther, my cat, sleeps on top of a flannel shirt in my closet, and I swear he glares at me. Actually right now he is laying on the flannel shirt and he looks so uncomfortable, I am waiting for him to start singing a Katy Perry song just to annoy me.

When Gunther is not sleeping in my closet he is trying to get inside of my clothes, never my pants, t-shirts, or hoodies though. He wants to wear my silky tops, skirts, anything that sparkles, or my cardigans.

Sometimes Gunther is bad and he meows a long loud annoying meow, that could probably wake the dead. I think this is him singing and whining. He also likes to make messes and then not clean up after himself, although I am quite sure this is just a trait most people, and cats, who I hang out with have. When that asshole cat is bad, I spray him with something and he likes it, unless I spray it directly into his face it does not phase him. 

He also loves frozen drinks, actually I am not sure if he loves them but when Phillip and I were drinking and watching musicals on Saturday, Gunther seemed like he want to be a part of it.

I don't wonder why Gunther is gay, I am his third owner and we seem to be a pretty good fit. I think he has abandonment issues.

I call him a silly little bitch cat a lot and sometime I call him G-unit, I think he likes the first name better. It suits him.

However gay my cat is he is still pretty awesome, he loves cuddling and he plays fetch.

For the love of....

Could you stop playing that mother fucking guitar?

I just can't wait to...

be king.

Just kidding. I am never going to be king and I know that, however my name does mean princess.

I was able to buy cigarettes, lottery tickets and other novelties when  turned 18, I was also able to vote and I didn't have to listen to my parents anymore.
I did buy a ticket and lost obviously, my Mom now has me buy her cigarettes, I have been to the Lion's Den several times, I voted for Obama, and I still listen to my parents, but only about as much as I did before I turned 18.

21 brings other rights, drinking mostly. I did that too, but now I could be honest about it and do it in public and post pictures of it online.

Still there are other things I can't do yet and I really can't wait to do them. Most of the things are circumstantial and I really have no idea when I will get to do them but some are closer. I know I will be better at some than I will at others and I know some are selfish, but most aren't most of the things I can't wait to do involve others who I love and can't wait to show them what I can do.

Cats don't like car rides. I don't like the way things seem to be.

Cats generally do not like being in cars, and my cat Gunther is no exception to that rule.

My maternal Grandma (Nanny as I call her) he been in a nursing home since Christmas and she has hopped back and forth from there to the hospital numerous times since. Earlier in the week she was in the hospital and they released her and then one day later she went back. My Mom had been calling me with updates to let me know how things were and each time she called I would ask if I needed to come home.

I really didn't want to come home, because I wanted to hang out with my friends and go to a concert that night, but I still played the dutiful daughter/granddaughter role and asked if I was needed. I am sad and things don't look too good for my Nanny, but things haven't looked good for her before and she has pulled through.

I layed out with Phillip and Paulina yesterday in front of our apartment and read and relaxed and talked about how okay I was or wasn't. Then Phillip and I drove around and listened to The Book of Mormon, very good musical by the way. We also went on a search for ear candles and were a mildly horrified in both places we went into. One we are pretty sure is the headquarters of some secret government agency. It is a huge building with one tiny store in it and when we walked in the woman working asked us our names, as if she was expecting someone. In the other place we went to, first we walked around and tried free samples and then I spent a good 7 minutes smelling soaps and when Phillip finally asked about ear candles the guy who he asked said what they had weren't ear candles according to government standards and then pointed him in the direction of hollow beeswax cylinders. So we left and went to Phillip's apartment for dinner.

After parking at the school for the concert Phillip and I begin to walk towards the crowds. Once we are almost there my Mom calls and says that Nanny is being life flighted to Evansville and if I can come home and stay with my little brother. So we walk back and talk about how I can cry in the car and at least now I don't have to pretend to have a good time.

So I decide to take my cat with me to my parents house so he can play with their 2 cats. He doesn't have a carrier because I never take him anywhere so I just decide to let him roam around. We make it less than a mile from my apartment and he somehow rolls down the back window and I see him trying to make an escape in the side rear-view mirror. I stop in the middle of the road yank his ass back in the car and  put the child locks on and also lock the doors. You can't escape that easily cat!

He meows off and on and curls up in my lap for most of the ride although the steering wheel seemed to annoy him lots.

Once at my parents house he and the other cats hiss at each other and then chase each other around and I go sleep after a long hard day.

My Insomniac World

This world involves the 3 by 3 foot area around me when I sit on a couch of someone's place when I can't sleep. The world is best when it is dark and my computer and phone are the only 2 light sources, also if there are headphones. I forget I am wearing headphones when I wear headphones. This would I am speaking of is the lit up section of the room that I occupy and it is sort of weird, because only when the music stops do I hear the breathing of sleeping people, the house noises and such and when I look away from the screen I can't see and it hurts my eyes and makes me want to go to sleep...if only!

I like this world though, sometimes it involves a book or me doing my laundry at my parents house. It is a nice escape from the other weird worlds but this is the third night of it...and I am fucking ready for my happy place.